Disappointment and Enlightenment

Last night was our TOPS meeting. I was shocked to hear that I had GAINED! I hadn't had sodas as before - only 3, but they at least didn't have caffeine - Sprite. However the sugar is likely no different. I turned down chips and cookies. I refused to eat late at night. I thought I'd done okay.

Then, thinking on it, I realized how much I really ate. This is why they tell you to keep a food diary. I have never liked doing that. I see the value of it now.

The last two old habits I pledged to ditch have been kind of difficult. I used to pick up a bag of chips along with a coke. Then, it changed to chips and a bottled water. Then, just bottled water. The chips really have been easier than I thought. Not the eating within the five hours, though. And last night, after the TOPS meeting, I had some nachos with cheese and peppers. In the middle of eating this fattening food, drowning my sorrow for not losing weight this week, I realized that nachos classifies as chips! Not only that, it was well after five o'clock. I had eaten crackers and cheese earlier in the day - not chips, but cheese and before noon!

No one is perfect, I realize that, but we can strive to get there. I'm writing a food diary this week. I have lost my gym key that lets me in the door of the gym. I have to find that and get back on the treadmill.

Good, but not Good Enough

So, I've been doing good with my list of things not to go back to, with only 3 slips. And, they were better than what I had been doing. I ate some buttery potatoes and had a Sprite, twice. The portion of potatoes was about 1/4 of what I usually dish up (at a restaurant's food bar).  The soda pop was at least not one loaded with caffeine. Still, the sugar must have been the same. So, it's been what I'd call, "good," but it's just not enough.

I'm putting my hand to the plough and not looking back with the addition of these new commitments:

1.  No more chips
2.  Eating strictly within the 5-hour window until I lose the weight

It's Wednesday. Tomorrow night is TOPS weigh-in. I hope I did well enough to lose some pounds. I just read of a woman who lost 128 pounds in TOPS and has kept it off for 9 years! It is possible! It's worth the sacrifice.

One Day At A Time

Can you believe it? Thinking of the Bible verse - not looking back - has really kept me from even wanting a soda or pasta or any of the other things I listed. Something I forgot, however, was chips. I do like chips. I like plain chips - potato or corn, and highly seasoned ones, too. I should have listed it, because I have used that forgetfulness to go ahead and eat them. "After all, they're not on the list," I told myself. I suppose it may be a good thing to not give up everything at once. I have made improvements at least. I'll let you know when I really decide to give up chips, too.

Don't Look Back

I'm not looking back at:

• Soda pops!
• Chocolate kisses
• Little Debbie cakes
• Greasy pizza
• Pastas - very difficult for me here
• Candy bars
• Chocolate chip cookies
• Peanut butter cookies
• All sweet cookies!
• Buttered potatoes

Before I thought about anything this morning, I ate one of my daughter's candy bars she is selling for her school. I should have taken my thoughts captive (2 Cor 10:5), but the old me forgot about 12 - 5 and eating healthy. I looked back. No more!

I'll try to start posting pictures or videos.

I won't quit! I won't! I won't!!

I've quit haven't I?

I'm starting back, and won't quit again without first getting down somewhere within my acceptable weight range for my height. I'm 5'3", and I think the acceptable weight range is about 115-135 lbs. Something like that. Tonight, at TOPS my weight, although I had lost from the week before was... was... Okay. I'll go ahead and say it. 244.8 lbs! Still so heavy. The reason I had lost from the week before was doing what I'm supposed to do, which is what I'm going to do from now on. Less food and more of it fresh vegan.

And I'm not quitting.

A good Bible verse to start me off:

And another also said, Lord, I will follow thee; but let me first go bid them farewell, which are at home at my house. And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God. ~ Luke 9:61,62

This verse is not talking about losing weight, obviously. It's talking about following Jesus but turning back to your old life for one last look. Do it now! Don't take time to bid the old sin buddies bye-bye!

Like me, I will not bid my old cakes and pizzas bye-bye! Because what does that mean? Gorge on food the night before getting serious about eating right. Who hasn't done that? That seems to me that you're not really ready to let go. I've made a decision now. Sticking to it starting now, not tomorrow.
 

It's Working

Even though I am not tight on keeping every bite within the five-hour window, I do pretty well. Last night, at the TOPS meeting, I lost another 1.6 pounds. I'm cautiously excited. We won't meet again for two weeks. Can I keep going? Our leader has set up a facebook site for us that is very encouraging each day. I have a goal to lose 3 pounds in those two weeks. Even .5 would be good. I'm not going to be in a big hurry, but I do want to see a lower number each week.

Hanging My Head In Shame

Today in Ladies' Bible Study that we have on Tuesday mornings with the church, the lesson was on sacrifice. Real sacrifice. The kind of sacrifice that is not "convenient".

I have to say, that this daily fasting is what Angela rightfully called, "The Sacrificial Diet". I was drawn to her blog just because of that title! Fasting IS a sacrifice. This kind of fasting is for the purpose of losing weight, but also can be thought of as for prayer.

Now, fasting and prayer do go hand in hand (go read: http://sharon-mydailyfast.blogspot.com/2012/04/prayer-and-fasting-just-go-together.html )  I'm not downplaying that at all, but I'm fasting daily primarily so that I can lose weight. Is this self serving? Where is the spiritual significance of losing weight?

God created our bodies to carry around just so much weight. He designed this wonderful creation, wrapped it in beauty, and gave it to us. What we do with what He has given is up to us. To be overly concerned is not His plan, nor is His plan for us to under concerned. He wants us to have the healthy natural body for as long as we live here.

We can do this by not over eating, and by eating what He has grown out of the ground and following health guidances that we find are wise - like stay away from sugar, etc...

When we were reading and listening to our teacher about sacrifice, I had to bring it down to home. I likely won't be asked to sacrifice a child as Abraham was asked (it had a happy ending - God interrupted this request and provided a ram for a sacrifice), but I AM asked to "present [my] bod[y] a living sacrifice" ~Romans 12:1.

I know that my influence for Christ will be greatly enhanced when I am seen as a person who has her appetite under control. I know I can still be a great influence or Christ, but I can be greater. I don't want there to be any stone left unturned when seeking the lost. I don't want the cross to be for nothing in that one person's case that would be hampered by this.

Not only do I see this as being important in seeking the lost, but also in being able to be a better servant to anyone. When we feel good, we can visit the sick, cook a meal, clean a kitchen, taxi someone to an appointment, etc. The list goes on and on. Obesity brings with it many physical ailments, and they all hamper our abilities to serve.

I knew where one of my sacrificial failings was during class today, and I just hung my head in shame and asked God to forgive and strengthen me in this matter (and one other, which is off-topic here). Father, help us all to present our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to You.

I've still not gotten a good time locked in. I am going to have to quickly get the times down and stop being so wishy-washy. I am going back to 12-5. I can easily get supper prepared for everyone at 4:30. That would be best for all of us, actually. Noon to 5 o'clock it is!

New Week, New Verse

The verse of the week to inspire me to lose weight is 1 Peter 2:11,12.

"Beloved, I beg you as sojourners and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts which war against the soul, having your conduct honorable among the Gentiles, that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may, by your good works which they observe, glorify God in the day of visitation."
 

Peter may not have meant the fleshly lust of over-eating, but it's my own fleshly lust and it certainly does war against my soul.

Would my conduct be more honorable among "the Gentiles" (in our case today, the unbelievers) by eating properly? I think so. I can only imagine what people must think of watching a fat woman driving down the road eating chips, fries, etc, or even grapes for that matter. I know what I'd think. "How deplorable seeing a fat person eating".

When we are at a gathering, it is more honorable to visit with each other, listen to another person, be attentive to needs of our fellow man than it is to see what sort of goodies are spread on the table free for the eating.

As a Christian, I represent to the world, Christ and the Father. I am to be a good example to weaker Christians. How can I do that if I put food above them? How can I glorify God by my conduct if my conduct is seen as continually eating?

We can easily see the answer if I were to compare flirting with married men, but eating rather than visiting people is more "acceptable". Not in my case. Now, let's get more personal.

What about eating in private? Part of the TOPS pledge says, "even though I  over eat in private, my excess poundage is there for all the world to see". Private eating is just as much a stumbling block (if not more) to unbelievers and weaker brethren as over eating at a potluck (for example). It's also more difficult to control.

I looked up the twelve steps of the AA and wrote them down to go along with my own addictions - food being one, laziness being another. Look them up and you'll see how those 12 steps can apply to any bad habit. It's easy to see that drinking alcohol in private is detrimental to all those around the drunkard after the private abusive drinking. In the same way, over eating in private is detrimental to all those around me. I can't do things for others as I should. My energy level is very low. My feet hurt quickly because of my weight and I have to rest more often than I should. I'm a bad example, and I am seen as one who can't control her indulgences. We all admire slim fit people. They control their eating and they give up something to get out and exercise to be that way. Mindless eating in front of the T.V. or computer when no one's around just doesn't bring admiration. A Christian, especially is open to criticism in this regard.

These verses have helped me each week. I was careful what I bought when I put up Isaiah 55:1-3. I ate only until I was satisfied and still had leftovers when I considered Ruth 2:14,18. Other verses helped me. I hope they are helping you. God's ways are perfect.

Now, I'm considering including pictures of my progress, eating, etc. It won't be easy for me, but I may break through my timidity here and make this blog more interesting that way. I know I like blogs that have pictures better.

Have a great week watching what you eat!  

Hurray!

Well I am back on losing weight. There's lots of obstacles, curves and hills in the way of losing weight. The main thing is to keep at it.

Last night, at TOPS weigh-in, I lost 1.6 pounds. Yay!

I'm still not following the fast-five perfectly, but I do keep pretty well inside the five hours. My main falling on it is the actual food I eat. The book says that you will lose weight if you use the time frame no matter what you eat, and it's right! However, I know that soda pop and chips are not at all healthy. This week: no chips, more water.

The hours I'm following now are trying to get to the 2-7 range. When I eat the first time of the day, I just count to the next five hours for my stopping place. Ultimately, beginning at 2:00 p.m. will be best or me because I sometimes don't get out of work until about that time. I just type right through lunch.

Goal loss for next Thursday: two pounds!

Changing Back

This time, 7:30 to 12:30 isn't working for me. I don't know if I should change back to 12-5, or go to 2-7. I almost think that would be better for me right now. I still don't know how I'll handle being back home. Either I'll move it ot the morning to early afternoon, or even out light eating all day, which doesn't work for me unless I'm eating all raw vegan.

Okay, so it's 2:00 to 7:00 p.m. at least until school is out.

Time Change

I've been thinking that it would be good to do a bit of a time change. I'll try it, but this 12-5 eating window may still be the best.

I think I would like to try eating a large breakfast with my family rather than a large supper. My reasons are:

• I've learned an internet friend who is thin and healthy eats a very big breakfast, but trails off on food the other two main meals.
• The main problem with food when visiting my mother was that I didn't eat breakfast. Mother served a big supper as well as a big breakfast, but even she said that skipping supper would be better than skipping breakfast. I really had a hard time there eating 12-5.
• My family would enjoy a big breakfast more than me trying to figure out what to serve as a big supper, because I'm not prepared as I should be for other meals, but I think I do better for breakfast.
•  Breakfasts, to me, anyway, are more fun!
• I'm hoping this will keep the hunger bug away.

My new eating time will be between 7:30 am and 12:30 pm.

New verse for the week - I skipped a week, sorry. Ruth 2:14:

Now Boaz said to her at mealtime, “Come here, and eat of the bread, and dip your piece of bread in the vinegar.” So she sat beside the reapers, and he passed parched grain to her; and she ate and was satisfied, and kept some back.
 

Lesson - eat until you are satisfied and don't worry about having some left over. Ruth took her left-over parched grain and took it to her mother-in-law, Naomi in verse 18.

 

Family Visits

One of the hardest things about going on any reducing diet is going home to "Mom's cooking"!

This week, I did just that. My mother is a very good cook. She knows how to bring comfort into the home with a good meal. However, I couldn't get it through to her that I was not eating after 5:00 or before 12 noon. She still counted me when she got out eggs, sausage, potatoes, etc... for an early breakfast or a late supper.

I gave in at supper, twice eating after 8:00 p.m., but stayed with the before 12 noon fast-five plan. It was difficult with homemade biscuits and sausage and eggs, but I managed. As expected, Mother thought I was doing myself harm.

I'll know tonight how I did at the TOPS weigh-in. I did eat less than I would have pre-120 pounds (that's the goal I'm shooting for, and I'm trying to get that mind-set), so maybe it will show up on the scales as at least "no gain".

Since I didn't put up a new verse on Sunday, I'll put one up today (Thursday) and leave it 'til a week from this Saturday. I'll talk about it later...

Isaiah 55:2 - (nkjv)
"Why do you spend money for what is not bread,
And your wages for what does not satisfy?
Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good,
And let your soul delight itself in abundance."

Going Off

Yesterday, I ate beyond my five hour window of eating. I ate a full meal sometime around 6:30 and ate a breakfast and snacks before 12 noon. Last night I paid for it. I didn't sleep well and I had a mild headache, which continues this morning, and my insides just hurt during the night. The meal had a high content of salt, too.

These things, along with not drinking enough water must have all contributed to my disturbed sleep. Have I mentioned how soundly I've been sleeping since I began the fast-five diet again? It's been wonderful.

So, do I pay the price of miserable nights and go along with my Husband's eating schedule while he's home, or do I let him know what I'm doing and sleep soundly, lose weight and just generally feel better? I suppose I could adjust the five hours while he's home. No, I think I'll simply serve supper by 4:30, then let Husband and Daughter eat later after the meal if they like, while I drink water.

Take Your Time - Be Patient

Today, I put up a new verse of the week. Last week's was Proverbs 23:1-3, with emphasis on the third verse, "they are deceptive food". How often we eat food that is "deceptive" such as: diet foods that promise help with weight loss, but contain so much sodium or sugar that it sabotages itself. The Bible is full of truths, even when it comes to our own battles with weight.

Verse for this week: Isaiah 40:31 - "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

Note: those who wait - while we are "waiting" to look like the beautiful people we know God means for us to be, we are renewing our strength. By waiting, we will be able to soar like an eagle; we shall be able run and not grow weary; we shall be able to walk and not faint.

God did not give Abraham and Sarah a child right away - they had to wait. What happened while they were waiting? God was teaching them to be good parents and to be obedient to Him. It takes time to lose weight, to gain strength, to get used to eating food close to the earth (raw). We need to be patient with ourselves and to keep at it.

Jump the Hurdle?

I have one big hurdle that is keeping me from doing the fast-five diet. It's my dear husband. He usually works away from home - out of state, even for sometimes months at a time. He's home now and every thing is for him. I'm not pushing my lifestyle of eating only five hours a day on him right now. He'd not understand. He hasn't seen the results. When the results become blatantly apparent, he'd get it and not question or put it down. I'm hoping.

So, for the next week or so, I'll do the best I can. I'm not strong enough to jump this hurdle. Someday, my strength will be able to handle it. I just have to keep going at it the best I can.

Losing Weight!

Thursday evening is the time of the week that I go to TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) to weigh in. I started with TOPS in October, and now weigh more than when I started. The good things about TOPS are the cost - very affordable, the accountability, the cheerful people in this particular chapter and the nearness to my house. The bad thing, which is actually a good thing too, is that you find your own way to lose the weight. Although they have a plan, and do ask you to keep a food diary, there is no certain way to lose weight. Everyone is free to choose what works for them. The only bad thing about this is, it's tempting to just "wing it" and weight is not lost. That was what I did, and it's what I heard another woman say this last meeting. Like the author of the Fast-Five book says, just cutting back or changing what we eat, but eating all day doesn't really work. At least not for me and others who are successful with this daily fasting type of diet.

I am glad to be free to use the Fast-Five diet plan. It's not for everyone and the nay-sayers will put it down in a heartbeat if they knew that this is the plan I've chosen. However, I have told a few about it.

Well, this past Thursday night was the first weigh-in since I began the Fast-Five again. I lost 3.6 pounds!!! Yay! Just wanted to tell the world. I didn't perfectly follow the diet plan, but I'm doing an A-, and I feel so much better. And BIG "Atta-Girl" to me --- I'm losing weight!!!

I Do Not Advise...

The "Fast-Five" diet book says that it's okay to drink unsweetened or artificially sweetened drinks during the 19 hour fasting time of this diet. So, this morning while I was out doing errands, I stopped and got a Diet Mt. Dew. I know they're not healthy for a person - everyone knows that. But, I thought I'd just have this to enjoy a "treat" rather than having plain water.

Since I've been doing this - this is my fourth day - I've not had any cravings during the fasting period. I'm amazed at that, but the book said that's the way it's going to be! I love this diet. However, as soon as I drank the soda pop, I felt hungry. Not just wanting a certain taste in my mouth, but my stomach started aching that hunger ache. I'm blaming the drink.

I had read that diet sodas actually can make a person gain weight because of several factors, and one of those factors is that it makes the brain want food. Hmm. I hope I don't make that mistake again. Deceptive food - if you can call a diet soda a "food", really.

Just wanting to warn you. I do not advise diet sodas during the fasting period.

I'm back on the Fast-Five diet! Best diet I've ever had - other than the raw food diet. That was very difficult for me, though.

I started this daily fasting (again) on Thursday, and this is Sunday morning. I've lost two-ish pounds already, and I'm feeling great!!!

This is a great diet. I feel good, I lose weight and I can feel a little pride when I can say I'm conquering this weight.

I'm 5'2.5" and weigh 242.2 as of this morning.