Disappointment and Enlightenment

Last night was our TOPS meeting. I was shocked to hear that I had GAINED! I hadn't had sodas as before - only 3, but they at least didn't have caffeine - Sprite. However the sugar is likely no different. I turned down chips and cookies. I refused to eat late at night. I thought I'd done okay.

Then, thinking on it, I realized how much I really ate. This is why they tell you to keep a food diary. I have never liked doing that. I see the value of it now.

The last two old habits I pledged to ditch have been kind of difficult. I used to pick up a bag of chips along with a coke. Then, it changed to chips and a bottled water. Then, just bottled water. The chips really have been easier than I thought. Not the eating within the five hours, though. And last night, after the TOPS meeting, I had some nachos with cheese and peppers. In the middle of eating this fattening food, drowning my sorrow for not losing weight this week, I realized that nachos classifies as chips! Not only that, it was well after five o'clock. I had eaten crackers and cheese earlier in the day - not chips, but cheese and before noon!

No one is perfect, I realize that, but we can strive to get there. I'm writing a food diary this week. I have lost my gym key that lets me in the door of the gym. I have to find that and get back on the treadmill.

Good, but not Good Enough

So, I've been doing good with my list of things not to go back to, with only 3 slips. And, they were better than what I had been doing. I ate some buttery potatoes and had a Sprite, twice. The portion of potatoes was about 1/4 of what I usually dish up (at a restaurant's food bar).  The soda pop was at least not one loaded with caffeine. Still, the sugar must have been the same. So, it's been what I'd call, "good," but it's just not enough.

I'm putting my hand to the plough and not looking back with the addition of these new commitments:

1.  No more chips
2.  Eating strictly within the 5-hour window until I lose the weight

It's Wednesday. Tomorrow night is TOPS weigh-in. I hope I did well enough to lose some pounds. I just read of a woman who lost 128 pounds in TOPS and has kept it off for 9 years! It is possible! It's worth the sacrifice.

One Day At A Time

Can you believe it? Thinking of the Bible verse - not looking back - has really kept me from even wanting a soda or pasta or any of the other things I listed. Something I forgot, however, was chips. I do like chips. I like plain chips - potato or corn, and highly seasoned ones, too. I should have listed it, because I have used that forgetfulness to go ahead and eat them. "After all, they're not on the list," I told myself. I suppose it may be a good thing to not give up everything at once. I have made improvements at least. I'll let you know when I really decide to give up chips, too.

Don't Look Back

I'm not looking back at:

• Soda pops!
• Chocolate kisses
• Little Debbie cakes
• Greasy pizza
• Pastas - very difficult for me here
• Candy bars
• Chocolate chip cookies
• Peanut butter cookies
• All sweet cookies!
• Buttered potatoes

Before I thought about anything this morning, I ate one of my daughter's candy bars she is selling for her school. I should have taken my thoughts captive (2 Cor 10:5), but the old me forgot about 12 - 5 and eating healthy. I looked back. No more!

I'll try to start posting pictures or videos.

I won't quit! I won't! I won't!!

I've quit haven't I?

I'm starting back, and won't quit again without first getting down somewhere within my acceptable weight range for my height. I'm 5'3", and I think the acceptable weight range is about 115-135 lbs. Something like that. Tonight, at TOPS my weight, although I had lost from the week before was... was... Okay. I'll go ahead and say it. 244.8 lbs! Still so heavy. The reason I had lost from the week before was doing what I'm supposed to do, which is what I'm going to do from now on. Less food and more of it fresh vegan.

And I'm not quitting.

A good Bible verse to start me off:

And another also said, Lord, I will follow thee; but let me first go bid them farewell, which are at home at my house. And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God. ~ Luke 9:61,62

This verse is not talking about losing weight, obviously. It's talking about following Jesus but turning back to your old life for one last look. Do it now! Don't take time to bid the old sin buddies bye-bye!

Like me, I will not bid my old cakes and pizzas bye-bye! Because what does that mean? Gorge on food the night before getting serious about eating right. Who hasn't done that? That seems to me that you're not really ready to let go. I've made a decision now. Sticking to it starting now, not tomorrow.